Tuesday, August 26, 2014

5 Stages of Grief: Manchester United Edition

Imagine you spent your summer supporting Manchester United.

If you're like me you probably want to stick a knife in your eye right now. I don't blame you. But stick with me, it isn't reality. This is all hypothetical. Just pretend for a few minutes.

You had just suffered through your club's worst season in the Premier League era. You put all the blame on 1 man who had been at the club for 9 months, David Moyes. You were eager and more than willing to throw Moyes under the bus. And you suddenly felt better.

Next up was Louis van Gaal, a man who had won things everywhere in Europe. Problem solved! Soon you'd be back on top!

Imagine yourself watching the World Cup, thoroughly impressed by your new manager as he coached Holland. Imagine your glee when his team annihilated the defending champions 5-1 in their first match.

You watched each Holland match and got more and more excited, convinced that the new boss was a genius who would easily fix all of Moyes's mistakes. He'd do it in his first training session!

You loved the new tactics, 3 at the back with wing backs pushing forward. You told yourself "Valencia can be twice the player of Daryl Janmaat!" And "Holland's center halves are nowhere near as good as Evans, Smalling, and Jones--consider the defense fixed!"

Manchester United destroyed teams in their preseason tour of the US, and your expectations grew and grew with each demolition. Surely the famous Guinness International Champions Cup was the first of many trophies you'd win this year!

You loved the new signings. Luke Shaw was the British Roberto Carlos! Forget Pogba! You had Herrera!

And then the injuries piled up. Shaw, Valencia, Evans, and Carrick were all out for the opening match against Swansea. Van Persie wasn't fully fit yet. But surely you'd still win! Nothing could stop this team!

And when United lost to Swansea, you made excuses. You were in Denial.

The injuries, the new tactics, the commercial tour of America as opposed to a proper preseason. "Our best players are all injured, we just need time," you told yourself. "It will all turn good, I know it."

But then you watched United draw with Sunderland on Sunday, and your confidence began to falter. Van Persie was back, but you still weren't creating chances. And you couldn't defend either.

You became Angry. Some winger named Will Buckley ripped you apart in his first ever Premier League match. Who the hell is Will Buckley? What is going on?

You took out that handy pitchfork, on which you so satisfyingly skewered Moyes in April, and pointed it directly at executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward.

"Woodward you imbecile! We need better players! You said you had all that money to spend, so spend it!"

The Bargaining began. If you just had better players, world class players, that would fix the problem. Woodward needed to get those world class players right away.

Woodward obliged. Yesterday it became clear you would soon have Angel Di Maria in your ranks. What a player! The man who single-handedly won the Champions League!

"Who cares what he costs? Who cares that he doesn't fit in the 3-5-2? Angel Di Maria is twice the player Ronaldo ever was!"

You were excited when you woke up this morning. You watched with glee as Di Maria held up that gorgeous red Chevrolet shirt. You thought you might go out and buy yourself a pickup truck.

Next you'd watch United build their confidence by thrashing some lower league team that you hadn't ever heard of in the Capital One Cup. It was all set up for a wonderful Tuesday.

Never in your wildest dreams did you think United would get embarrassed 4-nil. To MK Dons.

Suddenly you are humbled. In 10 days, the club you support looks nowhere near challenging for the title and you've already been knocked out of one of the cups. In 10 days, all of that excitement--from van Gaal at the World Cup, the new signings, the great preseason form--its all gone.

You hit Depression.

There is only one more step to go.

Acceptance.

The fact is, your beloved Sir Alex left behind an awful squad of players. The club is paying a long-term price for Ferguson's last grasp at glory.

Your defense was getting worse by an average of 5 goals per season over Fergie's last 3 years. The unit declined as Vidic, Ferdinand, and Evra aged. The signings of Smalling, Jones, and Alex Buttner didn't fix the problem. The weakness grew.

Sir Alex also allowed the midfield to deteriorate. Fergie converted Giggs into a center mid and brought Scholes out of retirement instead of letting his younger players get valuable experience and grow.

Even when Sir Alex played younger players, he played the wrong ones. He played Tom Cleverley and Anderson ahead of Paul Pogba, so Pogba left. Now United can't give Cleverley and Anderson  away as no club will take them, and Pogba is the best young midfielder in the world.

United's squad was nowhere near good enough to compete for any trophies last season, and they still aren't good enough right now.

Time to accept it.

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